does anyone know where to buy a switchblade?

I've had a glass of wine. 

Ok, two glasses of wine, and one of those I refilled a little part way through.

So, I'm feeling a bit like chatting.  My wine glass miraculously appeared on the bathtub ledge tonight.  I think it's because I can now levitate objects and float them to me.  My husband also appeared in the bathroom at my bidding.  NASA may want to study me.

I had a nice chat while in the tub about my run tonight.  It may have gone something like this:

Me:  I was running at McFarland Park tonight.

Him:  hmmmmm

Me:  I had this great mix of Josh Groban and Bob Marley on my ipod and I was running through the woods and it was wonderful.  I thought someone may have been sneaking up on me so I looked behind me but I was alone.  Well, except for a man walking two golden retreivers.

I bet he wanted to kill me. 

Him:  Or perhaps he was walking his dogs.

Me:  I am still alive.  That proves that not only is he a rabid murderer, but he is very thoughtful and is thoughtfully planning my long, painful demise.  Maybe I should run with a knife.

Him:  You would accidentally stab yourself in the leg and then he would catch you.

Me:  You know me too well.  I should run with mace.  I will mace that golden retreiver walking maniac next time I see him.